2 posts in 1 day! I'm on a roll!
I have been thinking about this quite a bit and would like all ya'll's (love my southern grammar!!?!) input/opinions. I find myself gitty, excited, and so thrilled and hopeful when I hear of someone conceiving who has struggled with infertility. It such wonderful blessed news that I can't help but feel ecstatic. However, when someone who seems to get pregnant in the normal time frame 1-6 or 8 months depending on their age, I want to scratch my eyes out with envy and frustration. Although I am thrilled for them, too, I am just not "as thrilled" as I am for my fellow brothers and sisters going through IUI, IVF, adoption, etc.
The thing with dealing with fertility treatments is that it is no longer about a hot night in the sack, but talks about saving money-basically a down payment for another home if you are planning for more than one cycle especially IVF...which come on people, we all are anticipating doing another round of something if it doesn't work the first time. We are definitely not a bunch of quitters! In addition to taking meds that make our horomones go nuts (so sorry for our hubbies that deal with our emotions!), I can't wait to see what they will do to me...er...uh...maybe I can wait. So not only are we considering money and emotional and mental state, but also taking on the "what ifs"....which are the absolute worst! What if it doesn't work. What if it works and I miscarry. What if we run out of money, but aren't done trying. What if we have twins, triplets, quadruplets...because looking at the statistics for my fertility clinic the chance of multiples for IVF is high, high, high!
So I guess I feel more validated, excited, and hopeful when those that deal with all of what I just wrote about conceive, than for those who have a couple glasses of wine, are relaxed, and doing the deed! They are truly blessed to have such worry free baby making. I imagine that when a couple that struggles with fertility gets pregnant they have a HUGE weight taken off of their shoulders. . I can't wait until I am in that position.
It's hard seeing people get something you want so badly so easily. It almost makes me feel like they are taking it for granted because they don't know what it's like to really try and face so much dissappointment. Disappointment digs a hole in your heart. But I like to think of it as making more room to fill back up with love for my baby. One day.
ReplyDeleteI share all your same concerns...we are starting our first cycle of IUI next month after 14 unsuccessful cycles and we are scared about the what ifs too. What if we have multiples, what if is doesn't work, what if we can emotionally, mentally, physically handle it? We have to believe that whatever is being thrown at us we can handle!!
ReplyDeletei totally agree with you... now that i am pregnant, i feel like i want to tell everyone "yeah, but do you have ANY idea what i went through to get here? my husband wasn't even in the room when i got pregnant!" i hear what you're saying-- good luck to you, i'm so sorry you are struggling. it's not fair!
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