Since I've been on this fitness kick I have been doing really well. I was home all week from work last week and successfully demolished 2 full boxes of girl scout cookies, ate a crap load of pizza, had lots of fried fish for lent, and ate other bad things. I also worked out about 4 hours. I did not gain or lose anything last week.
My school is having a battle of the pounds challenge and I was the biggest loser 2.5 weeks ago with a 7.5lb loss. We weigh in this Friday, and I am not so optimistic....girl scout cookies ARE EVERYWHERE!!!!! I am seeing changes though, my gut is less "sticky-outy," my chest is looking slimmer - however my boobs are not going anywhere and I wish they would - and my size 8 pants are getting too big. All good things! As I was "eliptisizing" aka on the eliptical, I was watching a pregnant lady in front of me that I have been admiring for a few months now. She is just gorgeous. She is always at the gym lifting weights, on the eliptical, or taking a class. She has a beautiful bump, glowing skin, and she is everything I hope to look like when I finally get pregnant. I can't wait to get my positive pregnancy test so I can subscribe to the fit pregnancy magazine...I think it would be slightly weird to subscribe now, don't you think? I know that there are so many benefits to continuing an exercise routine once you find out you are pregnant and I plan on doing that. Not with the intensity I work out now, but I don't plan on stopping my healthy life style. I hope to be like the woman at the gym - Fit and Pregnant!
P.S. On an unrelated note I just about peed my pants when I found out how much we were getting back on our taxes. HOLY CRAP we have a NICE chunk of change to contribute to our baby fund! YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tax returns are the best! (when you don't have to pay, like we did last year!)
Monday, February 27, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Nest Egg!!!
I think we have our nest egg!
On the way home from church today we were talking about our kid situation and time frames...it seems like time frames are always on my mind. I said if I have to wait, the latest I am willing to wait for IVF is next April or May. A little more than a year from now. My husband then informed me that we are financially where we need to be if one of us lost our job or had something bad happen. However, we don't have what we need to go on a shopping trip, vacation, etc. So we need to start saving for that, plus a car, plus a baby...we'll know how much to budget for cars when we figure out if we have multiples or not. Either way we have a nice chunk of change floating around, we just have to continue living a low key lifestyle - a saving life style. I feel a little weight off of my shoulders since the nest egg is there.
We are still going to have to finance some of this baby making, because it is ridiculous to think we are going to have as much as we need cash money, but hopefully we won't have to finance too much. God I hope it works when we go through with this...or even conceiving naturally...what a miracle that would be!
So on the fertility plate this week is:
- Go to the PCP to get my lab and ultrasound reports on my liver faxed so I can start metformin.
- Keep up with the exercising and eating healthy since I have been a bad bad girl during my winter break.
- Get our tax returns done and get ready to put a chunk of change into the savings account - HOPEFULLY!
Hope you all have a wonderful Monday and following week!
On the way home from church today we were talking about our kid situation and time frames...it seems like time frames are always on my mind. I said if I have to wait, the latest I am willing to wait for IVF is next April or May. A little more than a year from now. My husband then informed me that we are financially where we need to be if one of us lost our job or had something bad happen. However, we don't have what we need to go on a shopping trip, vacation, etc. So we need to start saving for that, plus a car, plus a baby...we'll know how much to budget for cars when we figure out if we have multiples or not. Either way we have a nice chunk of change floating around, we just have to continue living a low key lifestyle - a saving life style. I feel a little weight off of my shoulders since the nest egg is there.
We are still going to have to finance some of this baby making, because it is ridiculous to think we are going to have as much as we need cash money, but hopefully we won't have to finance too much. God I hope it works when we go through with this...or even conceiving naturally...what a miracle that would be!
So on the fertility plate this week is:
- Go to the PCP to get my lab and ultrasound reports on my liver faxed so I can start metformin.
- Keep up with the exercising and eating healthy since I have been a bad bad girl during my winter break.
- Get our tax returns done and get ready to put a chunk of change into the savings account - HOPEFULLY!
Hope you all have a wonderful Monday and following week!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Difficulty Conceiving vs. No Issues Whatsoever
2 posts in 1 day! I'm on a roll!
I have been thinking about this quite a bit and would like all ya'll's (love my southern grammar!!?!) input/opinions. I find myself gitty, excited, and so thrilled and hopeful when I hear of someone conceiving who has struggled with infertility. It such wonderful blessed news that I can't help but feel ecstatic. However, when someone who seems to get pregnant in the normal time frame 1-6 or 8 months depending on their age, I want to scratch my eyes out with envy and frustration. Although I am thrilled for them, too, I am just not "as thrilled" as I am for my fellow brothers and sisters going through IUI, IVF, adoption, etc.
The thing with dealing with fertility treatments is that it is no longer about a hot night in the sack, but talks about saving money-basically a down payment for another home if you are planning for more than one cycle especially IVF...which come on people, we all are anticipating doing another round of something if it doesn't work the first time. We are definitely not a bunch of quitters! In addition to taking meds that make our horomones go nuts (so sorry for our hubbies that deal with our emotions!), I can't wait to see what they will do to me...er...uh...maybe I can wait. So not only are we considering money and emotional and mental state, but also taking on the "what ifs"....which are the absolute worst! What if it doesn't work. What if it works and I miscarry. What if we run out of money, but aren't done trying. What if we have twins, triplets, quadruplets...because looking at the statistics for my fertility clinic the chance of multiples for IVF is high, high, high!
So I guess I feel more validated, excited, and hopeful when those that deal with all of what I just wrote about conceive, than for those who have a couple glasses of wine, are relaxed, and doing the deed! They are truly blessed to have such worry free baby making. I imagine that when a couple that struggles with fertility gets pregnant they have a HUGE weight taken off of their shoulders. . I can't wait until I am in that position.
I have been thinking about this quite a bit and would like all ya'll's (love my southern grammar!!?!) input/opinions. I find myself gitty, excited, and so thrilled and hopeful when I hear of someone conceiving who has struggled with infertility. It such wonderful blessed news that I can't help but feel ecstatic. However, when someone who seems to get pregnant in the normal time frame 1-6 or 8 months depending on their age, I want to scratch my eyes out with envy and frustration. Although I am thrilled for them, too, I am just not "as thrilled" as I am for my fellow brothers and sisters going through IUI, IVF, adoption, etc.
The thing with dealing with fertility treatments is that it is no longer about a hot night in the sack, but talks about saving money-basically a down payment for another home if you are planning for more than one cycle especially IVF...which come on people, we all are anticipating doing another round of something if it doesn't work the first time. We are definitely not a bunch of quitters! In addition to taking meds that make our horomones go nuts (so sorry for our hubbies that deal with our emotions!), I can't wait to see what they will do to me...er...uh...maybe I can wait. So not only are we considering money and emotional and mental state, but also taking on the "what ifs"....which are the absolute worst! What if it doesn't work. What if it works and I miscarry. What if we run out of money, but aren't done trying. What if we have twins, triplets, quadruplets...because looking at the statistics for my fertility clinic the chance of multiples for IVF is high, high, high!
So I guess I feel more validated, excited, and hopeful when those that deal with all of what I just wrote about conceive, than for those who have a couple glasses of wine, are relaxed, and doing the deed! They are truly blessed to have such worry free baby making. I imagine that when a couple that struggles with fertility gets pregnant they have a HUGE weight taken off of their shoulders. . I can't wait until I am in that position.
Getting Back to Normal
I have been sleeping. Thank God! I went to the therapist again on Tuesday and we discussed worry. I am worrying too much. I'm glad we talked about it, because I am finding myself worrying less now. I still jump up and am concerned when my hubby moves, twitches, breathes funny, but for the most part I am sleeping restfully - which allows me to function normally during the day.
Which means I am back to thinking about babies. I have been home all week from work, since the school at where I teach is on winter break (which is more like spring break since it has been 70 degrees almost all week!), and I find myself thinking about what it will be liking having a child. I was thinking that it might be nice to be a stay at home mom, which will definitely happen if I end up with multiples. If I have a singleton I'll be back at work. I wonder if I could even handle being a stay at home mom...I guess that is something I'll worry about when it happens for us.
We have been doing really well with our spending the last two months. We had no spend January where we did not buy anything for ourselves all month. We also did fairly well this month, too. I am finding that wanting a baby and saving for IVF outweighs anything that I "want." However, I have been losing weight, and I know I am going to want to shop here sometime soon. I have a ton of weddings coming up, so I'm going to wait until closer to the summer to do some shopping. If we continue to live like we have been living that means we get closer and closer to doing IVF!!! The question is since I am a teacher, when to go through with it? Ideally I would want to get pregnant in the spring or summer so if I only have 1 child I can take almost 5 months off to be with him/her...or just do it whenever we are financially able and deal with the 8-10 weeks of maternity leave...If I wait until the spring then we will ideally be better off financially, but can I realistically wait that long? who knows! Another benefit for waiting until next spring is that if we have twins or triplets we definitely will need a new car, which gives us more time to save for that car. Oh the things I think about when I have time at home to do NOTHING!!!!
I'm going to see The Vow at the movie theater with a friend today and then meeting my boss and his family at our church's fish fry for the first Friday of lent. No meat for me on Fridays. The hubs is also bringing home McDonald's filet o fishes for our lunch date! I don't even like them that much, but during lent it is a necessary evil! Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
Which means I am back to thinking about babies. I have been home all week from work, since the school at where I teach is on winter break (which is more like spring break since it has been 70 degrees almost all week!), and I find myself thinking about what it will be liking having a child. I was thinking that it might be nice to be a stay at home mom, which will definitely happen if I end up with multiples. If I have a singleton I'll be back at work. I wonder if I could even handle being a stay at home mom...I guess that is something I'll worry about when it happens for us.
We have been doing really well with our spending the last two months. We had no spend January where we did not buy anything for ourselves all month. We also did fairly well this month, too. I am finding that wanting a baby and saving for IVF outweighs anything that I "want." However, I have been losing weight, and I know I am going to want to shop here sometime soon. I have a ton of weddings coming up, so I'm going to wait until closer to the summer to do some shopping. If we continue to live like we have been living that means we get closer and closer to doing IVF!!! The question is since I am a teacher, when to go through with it? Ideally I would want to get pregnant in the spring or summer so if I only have 1 child I can take almost 5 months off to be with him/her...or just do it whenever we are financially able and deal with the 8-10 weeks of maternity leave...If I wait until the spring then we will ideally be better off financially, but can I realistically wait that long? who knows! Another benefit for waiting until next spring is that if we have twins or triplets we definitely will need a new car, which gives us more time to save for that car. Oh the things I think about when I have time at home to do NOTHING!!!!
I'm going to see The Vow at the movie theater with a friend today and then meeting my boss and his family at our church's fish fry for the first Friday of lent. No meat for me on Fridays. The hubs is also bringing home McDonald's filet o fishes for our lunch date! I don't even like them that much, but during lent it is a necessary evil! Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Update
Well, things are returning back to normal at home...for Adam. I am still having trouble sleeping and having a tiny bit of anxiety, so I thought I would try seeing a counselor/therapist. I had my first appointment today and I loved it. I chose a person who has her own practice, and doesn't prescribe drugs, and is a faith based counselor. I am not an extremely religious person, but I do believe in faith and a higher power, and that it has the ability to heal people. My therapist said some really great things that hit home with me about this whole seizure situation, and I feel a bit better. She also gave me some relaxation techniques, that I will definitely be trying. I would like to not have to take a sleeping pill to get to sleep, but I tried that last night and slept for 3 hours. So needless to say, I was an awful to goodness mess on this Valentine's Day. The hubs wanted to go out for dinner and I just couldn't do it. I need to sleep and rest. I go back to the therapist next Tuesday, and am really looking forward to it. Until then, my in-laws and grandmother-in-law are coming to visit on Thursday, so I am looking forward to the distraction they will bring to my weekend.
As for baby making, I think I may have ovulated this weekend. I am so sick of buying kits and tracking temps that I am just guessing based on the situation down there. I wasn't sure how our sex life was going to be after what happened last week, but hubs was ready to go, so we went! haha TMI I know, but I am glad that it isn't affecting that part of our life. I've been getting my liver checked out from getting back blood work for elevated liver enzymes, so I had an ultrasound today. The tech couldn't tell me anything so I'll just have to wait until the doctor looks at it. So that is that!
Well, that is all for now...off to a little more TV and sleeping pills for bed! = )
As for baby making, I think I may have ovulated this weekend. I am so sick of buying kits and tracking temps that I am just guessing based on the situation down there. I wasn't sure how our sex life was going to be after what happened last week, but hubs was ready to go, so we went! haha TMI I know, but I am glad that it isn't affecting that part of our life. I've been getting my liver checked out from getting back blood work for elevated liver enzymes, so I had an ultrasound today. The tech couldn't tell me anything so I'll just have to wait until the doctor looks at it. So that is that!
Well, that is all for now...off to a little more TV and sleeping pills for bed! = )
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Anxiety
Well my thoughts have officially transferred from thinking about making babies to having anxiety about my husband and his seizure(s). I am usually a laid back, go with the flow kind of gal, but this latest happening in our lives has thrown me for a loop. I think I have been experiencing some form of anxiety the last 6 nights. I am fine during the day for the most part, but as soon as I get home it starts. My chest gets tight, I get all shivery, I can't eat - as in food just isn't satisfying and I start gagging - for example, we went to get Thai food last night and I absolutely LOVE pad thai, I probably ate about 8 to 10 bites and just couldn't get it down. My blood pressure also gets elevated at night...I'm usually at 100-114/70-98 and it has been going up to 130, 125, etc. I have also lost about 8 lbs in the last two weeks...the bulk of it being in the last 4-5 days. I've taken some unisom to help me sleep, it took me 3 hours to fall asleep and I was really groggy the next day, then my chiropractor gave me some herbal mix to relax and induce sleep, which works, but doesn't help me fall asleep. Finally I took a half of an ambien last night and I fell asleep in 1.5 hours which was great, but I didn't stay asleep. My regular doctor said he didn't want to give me anxiety meds until I tried the sleeping ones first, since anxiety meds can be pretty serious....UGH, I'm a hot mess!
I worry about if it is going to happen again, what the anti-seizure meds and his chantix meds are doing to his brain, how he is feeling emotionally/mentally, about him driving at any point of the day even though he is only prohibited from driving at night. I'm just scared for him. These meds are making him very drowsy. I sincerely hope that this anti-seizure med works and he never has to have another seizure again.
Do any of you readers have experiences with anyone in your family/friends of yours that have seizures? I am finding that it is more common than most think, it just isn't widely talked about. If you feel comfortable sharing please do...I'm not in the state of mind yet to go browsing the web for some support...
I worry about if it is going to happen again, what the anti-seizure meds and his chantix meds are doing to his brain, how he is feeling emotionally/mentally, about him driving at any point of the day even though he is only prohibited from driving at night. I'm just scared for him. These meds are making him very drowsy. I sincerely hope that this anti-seizure med works and he never has to have another seizure again.
Do any of you readers have experiences with anyone in your family/friends of yours that have seizures? I am finding that it is more common than most think, it just isn't widely talked about. If you feel comfortable sharing please do...I'm not in the state of mind yet to go browsing the web for some support...
Monday, February 6, 2012
What else is He going to throw at us?
5 months ago my husband had a seizure in the middle of the night. It was so far, the scariest night of my life. I had no clue what was happening, called 911, went to the hospital, only to find out it was a seizure and there was nothing that could really be done about it, especially since it was his first one. He went through all kinds of tests during the following months and did not find anything. They said it could be just a one time occurance, or it could happen again. If it happened again, then we would take some further action. During the last 5 months I have had difficulty sleeping, since every twitch, or move, he makes I think it is happening again. Only just recently have I been sleeping better.
He had another seizure last night.
I was much more calm, understood what was happening, and he came out of his seizure much quicker than last time. However, I did not sleep a wink last night. My blood pressure (which is ALWAYS really low), was at 130, and I could not rest my mind. We went to the neurologist today and now he is on an anti-epileptic drug, can't drive at night for the next 6 months (if he has another seizure, then it will be 6 more months from that date), and has to have a 24 hour brain test in 2 weeks. I hate this for him. No one wants to be on a med for probably the rest of their life. And he is not so happy about me driving him at night. He likes to go to the gym for raquetball until later in the evening and now I have to bring him home, which means I have to change my schedule, too. I am happy to do this for him, since I am madly in love with him, and will support him in any way I can.
So not only are we dealing with the frustrations of fertility, we now have to deal with seizures. Grrr. I know God doesn't throw things at us that we can't handle...but geeze can't he just give us a break!!!
Hope you all in the land of PCOS and fertility meds are doing well!!
He had another seizure last night.
I was much more calm, understood what was happening, and he came out of his seizure much quicker than last time. However, I did not sleep a wink last night. My blood pressure (which is ALWAYS really low), was at 130, and I could not rest my mind. We went to the neurologist today and now he is on an anti-epileptic drug, can't drive at night for the next 6 months (if he has another seizure, then it will be 6 more months from that date), and has to have a 24 hour brain test in 2 weeks. I hate this for him. No one wants to be on a med for probably the rest of their life. And he is not so happy about me driving him at night. He likes to go to the gym for raquetball until later in the evening and now I have to bring him home, which means I have to change my schedule, too. I am happy to do this for him, since I am madly in love with him, and will support him in any way I can.
So not only are we dealing with the frustrations of fertility, we now have to deal with seizures. Grrr. I know God doesn't throw things at us that we can't handle...but geeze can't he just give us a break!!!
Hope you all in the land of PCOS and fertility meds are doing well!!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Stupid PCOS
I got my freaking period today. What is up with that!!??!?!?! For a second I was excited, because I didn't think it was going to come. During all of my rounds of clomid it came at about day 30, and for the last 3 months after I've been done with clomid, it still came at or around day 30. We are on day 39-40 right now. I'm so sick of tracking when I may or may not ovulate, since I know the chances of us having a child naturally are so slim. Hope keeps me going though, because I know we are supposed to have a bambino of our own.
I'm super exhausted. I taught a kickboxing session today after work and all of my colleagues that attended had a great time. It made me feel good, but now I can barely keep my eyes open. However, I still need to bake my chicken for my lunch tomorrow. Gotta stay healthy and eat my protein. I did bad tonight, though. I had pizza hut and OD'd on pizza...but it was SOOO GOOD and I did exercise so I don't feel too horrible. Back on track tomorrow!
I'm super exhausted. I taught a kickboxing session today after work and all of my colleagues that attended had a great time. It made me feel good, but now I can barely keep my eyes open. However, I still need to bake my chicken for my lunch tomorrow. Gotta stay healthy and eat my protein. I did bad tonight, though. I had pizza hut and OD'd on pizza...but it was SOOO GOOD and I did exercise so I don't feel too horrible. Back on track tomorrow!
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