Waiting is the Hardest Part

Why is it that when you want something so badly, everyone else seems to have it? I'm just about ready to get rid of my facebook account, because I struggle seeing all these happy "we're having a baby!" announcements. I'm happy for all of those announcements, because I hope to make one about my hubs and I someday, too. It just hurts everytime I see one. I wish I knew what it was like to say, "Hey, let's try having a kid." Two months later, BAM! There is a bun in the oven!

I hope that when my husband gets his semen analysis back from the doctor soon, it miraculously comes back with super normal results. That way I can hope that our 1% chance of conceiving comes up to like 10%. I could pee on a stick and get a positive result and all of that money we've been hoarding can be used to buy a super fancy mom-mobile!

The waiting is the hardest part. I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around waiting to do this IVF for another year or two. To help speed up the savings I'm considering getting another job in addition to teaching. I don't make very much since I'm on a first year teacher salary, plus furlough days. I'll be finishing up my masters this spring, so I'll be able to pick up a second job this summer. The paychecks for this second job will be going in to savings and won't be touched in addition to my increase in pay for my masters. Just a plan I made up in my head...now I just have to think about where I'd want to spend my summer days and after school in the fall.

Until this IVF thing happens, I'm focusing on getting this body in shape in the off-chance I get pregnant on my own. The hubs and I have been gym rats the last few weeks and it has felt amazing. I really work out all of my emotions and frustrations at the gym and feel pretty good until the weekend where I have time to think. I have a ton of weddings this summer so at least I'll be looking awesome in all of my bridesmaid dresses!!